OPEN LETTER TO THIEVES
Dear Stealer,
Last night you wandered by my home and invited yourself to steal stuff from out of my car. Maybe you were drunk or high. I suppose it doesn’t much matter at this point, but know this…had I caught you, you would definitely be better off in either state, because there would be much pain. I’m serious about that.
People who feel that they are entitled to things they either can’t or won’t provide for themselves really piss me off.  I just can’t get my brain wrapped around why you would take such a risk…a HUGE risk, for nothing really. What did you get? My mp3 player, passport and some children’s toys. Yay. All of which I can replace rather easily. No big deal, right? Wrong.
The big deal comes when you get caught. And you will get caught, prick. You’ll get more and more arrogant, believing you have chance on your side, and you’ll up the ante to bigger, better, more exciting hauls. Someone is going to find you doing it, and you will pay the price. It might be very costly for you. Think about this…really think hard about it. I’m assuming you are young, one of the roving teenagers who occasionally wander around my neighbourhood. A black mark like break and enter on your record might permanently alter the course of your life, prevent you from travelling out of this country, prevent you from getting some jobs, and ensure that you continue to lead a marginal life.
And to be honest, that’s the good news. If you are caught by someone who simply wants the long arm of the law to do its thing, this is what you can expect. If you are caught by someone who wants that, but also wants to make sure you really understand the error of you ways right there and then, it might also hurt.  Physically.
Understand me here. If I had caught you stealing my possesions, without hesitation I would punch your lights out. I’d drag you into my home and completely take it to you. I ‘d claim self-defence, that you were entering my home when I caught you and you attacked me.  Whatever…it’d be alright for me. Not so much for you. The fact that you felt entitled to the stuff I worked for and bought is insulting and I have no problem lowering myself to your level, punching your face inside out, to help demonstrate that to you.
Btw, I’ll have a new mp3 player soon….give it about a week. Then come on by again. I’d love to meet you face to fist.
Asshole.
Comments
Oh dude! What a piss off!
I know exactly how you feel
I feel your anger
I know how you feel, I had 4 guys break into my house several years ago and almost make off with all my guitars, amps, keyboards etc. I’d collected that stuff over almost 20 years sometimes working 2 jobs to afford it. And I almost lost it all in 5 minutes. Thankfully some passerby saw them and called the police and they were caught in the act. 2 got probation, 2 got jail. I was so angry I could’ve killed them. Honestly. I wrote a letter to the judge asking for $600 dollars for the doors they broke. He ordered all of them to pay. I’ve only got $200 so far, but still, it’s something. Here’s hoping karma will catch up with your thieves.
Coshman!
Howsgoyin? Good to see you online here. Can you guess?
Take care…
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